Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
