the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
jump out the window naked night went bad
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
