you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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