she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
