hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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