Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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