I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
