you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
