1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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