why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
