Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I have so many feelings about this burrito
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
