GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
