So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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