That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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