then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Just fell off a train. Bad.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
