she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
