i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
