I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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