The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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