He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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