I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize