Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
