I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
