fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
