So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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