ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize