dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
