jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
