Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
