I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
