I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
