So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
