i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think people are normalizing furries
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
