I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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