she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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