Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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