whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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