Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
