Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
