I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
