the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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