Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
