He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I love you.
Bad choice
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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