last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
