I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
