Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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