you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
