I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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