You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
