think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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