his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Dick very happy bro
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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