I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
