How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Randomize
