WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
did i walk over a car last night?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Randomize
