And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
