hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
